Expectations

In a previous post, I wrote about my problems with a certain person. This person was someone I had considered a friend long before our arrival in Rome, Italy. We are no longer friends and life goes on. It doesn't bother me that we are no longer friends. Meanwhile, it does irk me that I allowed the negative situation, along with many others (e.g., homesickness, feelings of isolation, difficulties), to easily influence my writing. I want my writing to be positive during my time studying abroad. In accordance to that, I would like to hope that my experiences will be enjoyable for the rest of my time here.

I don't desire to unnecessarily speak ill of others or express any negativity through the words I write. Unfortunately, the bad is as inevitable as the good. I am human, after all. At times, I feel compelled to write about whatever emotional maladies I may possess in order to free myself of them. At the same time, however, I feel guilty for doing so. I feel somewhat ashamed to admit to my faults because I did not expect to encounter them during my travels. When I first began this journey, starting from when I even considered the possibility of studying abroad, I didn't expect anything less than the ideal: watching the sun set on the Mediterranean, walking down slick cobblestone streets, experiencing la dolce vita Italiana.

I neither expected nor desired to feel homesick, anxious, or contemptuous towards anyone. I never expected to feel anger towards the Italian salesclerks who have gotten impatient with my poor attempts at speaking Italian... or the fact that for some reason some don't like to make change for purchases less than 3/4 of the euro bill I offer. (Long story short, a lady at the supermarket yelled and glared at me for giving her a 20 euro bill for an ~11 euro purchase) I didn't imagine that I would feel alone, isolated, and far from my closest friends. I didn't expect to experience these things or write about them. I want to look back on these entries and reawaken sweet memories, not regret them. Unfortunately, that's how life is, isn't it? We firmly hold onto our expectations and nothing plays out the way we hope them to. Things seem to turn out far worse than we had hoped...

On the other hand, dear reader, in the end, perhaps things turn out far better than we could have imagined. I don't know if this is quite true, but I hold hope. In the past, I always found myself believing that my situation was at its worst. Yet, in retrospect, I would not replace the things I felt, tasted, heard, saw, thought, or came across during those days. I wish to believe that these times are just like any of those previous moments merely taking their due course.

That is why, dear reader, I write this: an apology and statement of conviction. This is an apology to myself, for allowing negative thoughts influence me so easily. This is also to state that I will write whatever my passions inspire. I wish to be honest with myself and with you. I will keep writing and erase nothing in the hope that things will make sense in the end.

Ventuno Giorni

I am a mere three weeks away from departure. I'm finally done with the semester and it's great to have time to relax. With every day that is passing I feel so much more excited. It feels more and more real that I will be leaving for the Eternal City in less than a month, and living there for the following three and a half months.

For the past few weeks, I've just been trying to prepare for my trip. I talked to my communications adviser, my psychology adviser, and the psychology internship coordinator in order to tie any loose ends before my departure. With my communications and psychology advisers, I wanted to discuss with them my progress in each respective major. Considering that I'm double majoring, it can get somewhat confusing as to what requirements I've already fulfilled, what else needs to be fulfilled, and how much time I have left in order to fulfill every requirement asked of me for both majors. Since I will be entering my senior year the semester following my study abroad trip, it's very important for me to plan everything quite meticulously to ensure that I won't have to stay an extra semester or so after my senior year. Especially with the internships, it's necessary for me to plan things out even further ahead of time than everything else. This is due to the fact that it's required of me to apply for course approval and search for internship sites all on my own before the semester I plan on doing them. Along with that, I must also track down certain course professors to request recommendations from them. So much to do in so little time!

I also had to make sure I have prepared every necessary document I need. Two copies of my whole passport, two photocopies each of my passport's face page and visa page, two copies proving international insurance coverage and a set of four passport photos. I finally have all the necessary documents together along with a simple weekly budget of how much I'm should spend on a weekly basis while abroad. The next thing I should do is compile a priority list of countries/cities I want to visit while I'm there and determine what would fit into my budget. I definitely have a few things to keep me busy til the time comes for me to leave!

Nonetheless, I am quite excited for what the expected future holds. I can't wait to experience everything that Europe will have to offer me in the following four months. I'm excited to return from my trip and live back in the city as a 21 year old with company I enjoy. I love my family and appreciate the support they give me, however I think that it is time to exercise my independence even further. A lot of positive, amazing things lie ahead of me and I want to get a full grasp of them. I feel that I've become more inspired and motivated to live my life to the fullest in recent months.

If you, dear reader, had met me a year ago or perhaps even no more than six months ago, I couldn't tell you what drove me to live or move forward. Now, I can say that I want to experience as much of the world as I can. I want to see things I only know from movies. I want to experience just as much as the next traveler. I want to fill my life with experiences and stories that I can pass on to friends, family, lovers, and strangers. I want to further and strengthen my curiosity. I want to learn more about myself through learning about my surroundings and the places that reach further than what I currently know!

As you can tell, dear reader, I am impassioned by the future. I like this feeling. I want to hold onto it as long as I can.

Until next time,
KC

The World is Quite Big

Buongiorno ...

It is with regret that we notify you that you have not been selected by the JFRC Scholarship Committee for an award for the Spring 2012 semester.

Unfortunately, we had only extremely limited funds from which to distribute awards for Spring 2012 compared to the generous amount which had been available for scholarships for the Fall 2011 semester. As a consequence, many worthy candidates did not receive any grant.

Despite this news, we trust that you will find your Spring semester in Rome an exhilarating and inspiring one, and that you will reap a fruitful experience from your time abroad.

                                                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                                        JFRC Staff     
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Unfortunately, I was not selected to receive any of the scholarships I had applied for in late October (see blog post: Scholarships - Part II). I kind of expected this outcome. Considering my usual informal writing and comparing it to my scholarship essay, the latter comes off quite contrived. The ideas I wanted to express through the essay seemed to lack a sense of naturalism, passion, and uniqueness. It lacked what my usual, natural writing had: an identity. I guess I was more nervous and uncertain about writing the essay than I had realized. I lost myself in the midst of cliché phrases and common words in hopes of producing something agreeable to all. I produced something generic and uninteresting. What I wrote did not work in my favor.

Of course I'm disappointed in not having received a scholarship. Nonetheless, I still consider myself to be very fortunate. I'm lucky enough to still have the opportunity to study abroad and see more of the world than what some can only imagine. Sure, it would have been great to have received a monetary scholarship that would have enabled further travel opportunities. However, I want to see this situation in a more positive light.

In a sense, life has proposed a challenge for me: to experience another part of the world's culture without (or barely) depending on money. I think it's possible. I think this would be a great challenge to pursue. Why? It would allow me to have a closer experience with a culture, its people, and what hospitality means throughout the world. What I'm referring to is the sort of basic humanity we hope to find in strangers when we're lost or find ourselves in need of help. I think that by befriending the locals and sharing a common ground I can find myself welcomed into their homes.

I think that such a scenario would afford me experiences comparable (if not more valuable) to what any supplementary monetary amount could afford me. I could find myself eating with an Italian family that includes many cousins and neighbors with the vibrancy of the Italian lifestyle on a normal week night... Or perhaps I'll find myself helping catch that day's lunch or dinner off the coasts of Valencia, Spain or perhaps Marseilles, France. What I really want to do is have a picnice, something as simple as bread, wine, and cheese on the side of a ride beside a lavender field in the Provençal region of France. Whatever the case may be, I will definitely make the best out of what I can during my time in Europe in the following months to come. The world is huge and the variety of possibilities it can afford me is just as grand, therefore I shouldn't lose hope. Everything I want to see is still in my grasp. I just have to work a little harder.

Tomorrow's the Day

Tomorrow I find out as to whether I got any of the study abroad scholarships I applied for or not. I must say that I'm pretty nervous I'm more nervous than I thought I would be a few weeks ago when I turned in my application. Perhaps it's due to the fact that as my departure date approaches even closer, the reality has hit me harder: I'm leaving in just over a month and I've nowhere near saved up my goal amount! Sure, I might have a few hundred dollars saved up, but that won't be enough to see all that I want to see in Europe.

I want to be able to travel to Ireland and experience the emerald, rolling hills. To stand in front of it, to breathe it in, to feel its winds embrace me. It would be quite pleasant to realize that I'm so far from the familiar, but right at home in the world.

I want to see the countryside of England and surround myself in the setting of Jane Austen's work. Perhaps to even find love.

I want to spend my night in Paris on Valentine's Day. To hear the words of the native speakers whose language I've spent seven years learning. To see Le Tour d'Eiffel and take the silly picture of me leaning on it and/or touching its highest point.

It would be so lovely to see Spain and find someone who shares the same Spanish last name as I do (considering that I'm Asian, it would be really interesting).

I want to go to Austria and run through the hills with my arms wide open like Flaurein Maria in The Sound of Music.

And of course, I want to see as much of Italy as I can while I am there. I want to see every ruin, artwork, and ancient building that precedes my lifetime. I want to be face to face with my own mortality, whilst rest assured that life will go on. To imagine my experiences as not being on its own, but an experience shared by many, by millions, and by many more to come.

If I were to even receive their smallest amount, I would be happy. It would allow me to see and experience at least half of the things on my list. I'm definitely nervous and scared. However, I'm also excited. I'm certainly excited about all the things I will see, learn, eat, and experience during my time in Europe. However big and small my adventures may be, I can't wait!

Visto per Studenti (Student Visa)

Yesterday afternoon, my school's Office for International Programs notified me that they had finally received my U.S. passport from the Italian consulate. I must admit that I was pretty excited to finally take a gander at the Italian student visa posted on one of its many pages. At first, I thought that it would be a simple stamp. However, it looked far more intricate than I had thought. It looked pretty actually. It included a picture of me, my full name, its dates of validity, and an awesome metallic stamp. Again, it was far more than what I had expected. What made it even more exciting is the fact that it's the first visa to ever be posted in my passport.

Il mio visto per studenti

I actually think that this signifies the start of something profound for me. It's like the initial event that will cause a chain of significant events. Now that I have one visa from a foreign country, I will want to attain more. It will be like a scrapbook of my adventures. In a way, each and every stamp or visa I get in my passport would symbolize my growth as a person of the world.

Certainly, there are those that perceive the act of collecting foreign stamps in one's passport as a traveler's cliché. However, I connect it to a deeper, more personal meaning. For every stamp I receive, it would be a manifestation of all my experiences in a particular country. Other than the pictures I will take, each stamp will precede all that as a symbol of each adventure's beginning. It will symbolize a conceptual gateway to what I have and will come across. I find this to be quite profound and amazing!

In any case, I'm quite glad that I finally have my passport back in my possession. I have been waiting for its arrival since early October. It wasn't too long of a wait, actually. At most, it took four to five weeks for me to get approved for my student visa.

Now, the next step will be to get the permesso di sogiorno at the local post office once I'm in Italy and show them my passport (with the student visa), proof of international student health insurance, and lettera d'iscrizione (notarized letter informing of my duration of stay, place of stay, and the accepting study abroad program). Basically, the permesso di soggiorno is a stay permit issued to those staying in Italy for longer than 90 days. Those staying less than 90 days are considered "tourists" (therefore not needing a stay permit), whereas individuals staying for more than 90 days are considered "residents". Since I will be in Italy from January 11, 2012 to April 28, 2012 (totaling 99 days), I will be considered a resident (needing a stay permit).

Once I arrive in Italy, I will also have to go to the local police station (questura) and fill out a form called Dichiarazione di Presenza (Declaration of Presence) and get my fingerprints taken within eight days of my arrival. Basically, it's just to inform the authorities that I am legally in the country. If I fail to do so, I will face legal consequences that would include being deported out of the country. Since I'm studying abroad through a school program, I'm sure my school won't allow that to happen, nor would I personally be so negligent.

Along with filling out the Dichiarazione di Presenza and getting fingerprinted, I also have to make a photocopy of my passport from cover to cover along with the pages in between. I've already made two copies (one for my own records) and also made sure to keep a PDF copy on my computer just in case anything were to happen.

At the moment, I'm pretty much on top of every task I need to complete for my trip. Now, I'm just waiting to be notified of my dorm appointment, future roommate, and scholarship acceptance (or rejection). I must also start saving up my money instead of spending it all while I'm still in the U.S. Recently, I've been starting to perceive each expense transaction as "money that could have been spent in Italy". A classmate of mine who was in the same study abroad program last semester said that she spent close to three thousand dollars during her trip. Hopefully, I can save up one to two thousand dollars before my expected departure in about and a half months. I still find it quite surreal that it is only a mere one and a half months away...

In any case, until next time, buonanotte!
KC

Scholarships: Part II

Earlier this afternoon, I turned in my scholarship application. I'm quite thankful to have friends and blog readers that provided an alternative pair of eyes to help edit my essay. Yes, it was ~45 words over the 250 word limit, but I hope that it won't be a deal breaker. In early December I'll know whether or not I have won a scholarship. Until then, wish me luck! Right below is the final version of the essay that I turned in with my application. Right below is the final version of the essay that I turned in with my application.

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At some point in our lives we come to realize that each and every one of us possess a unique story worth telling. I want my story to be as colorful and diverse as the food, fashion, history, and languages I will come across during my studies at the John Felice Rome Center. Throughout my studies, I hope to learn from the new ideologies and challenges I will encounter. A desire consumes me to learn from a world larger than myself and to provide myself as a tool from which others can learn.

Being a non-native English speaker, I am certain to provide a unique perspective to the benefit of my peers. As someone born in a different country and having made the United States my home for almost two decades, my unique cultural identity would be a great addition to the JFRC community. Ultimately, I look forward to embracing the cultural disparities I encounter and hold myself accountable to a world different, but united through a human commonality. I hope to learn, befriend, and share with those I meet regardless of physical and political borders.

During my studies at the JFRC for the Spring 2012 semester, my expenses will be afforded by money I will have earned through working a part-time job prior to my expected departure, a private student loan, and a monetary amount my mother will contribute. This scholarship would provide me the opportunity to see more of the world, in which I wish to be more of an active participant by being open to new ideas, lifestyles, and beliefs. By earning this scholarship, it would prove to me that there are people who share and support the same philosophy as I do in improving society through education and social interaction.

Scholarships

I've never applied for a scholarship before. If I did, I probably would have saved a lot of money on my student loans... Anyways, I decided to apply for a few scholarships sponsored by the study abroad program I'm going to Italy with. All I really had to do was fill out a one-page application and write a 250-word essay with the following criteria:

• How I would benefit from the study abroad program?
• What impact would the scholarship have on my study abroad plans?
• How my presence in the program would enhance the program environment?
• How I plan to finance the trip?

Of course, the essay was the hardest part. Basically, I had to write an essay acknowledging each of the four criteria they gave me, within 250 words, expressing my need and desire for funding while staying eloquent and dignified.  The following is what I came up with after 2-3 days of working on it.
_______________________________________________

There comes a time in our lives when we realize our responsibility for the world we live in. We come to acknowledge the potential we have to improve society for ourselves and our posterity. From this, a desire is born to learn from a world larger than ourselves and have an proactive influence upon it. From my studies, I hope to learn from the new ideologies, people, and challenges I will encounter. Being a non-native English speaker, I hope to provide a unique perspective that my peers can benefit from. Ultimately, I look forward to embracing the cultural disparities I encounter and hold myself accountable to a world different, but united through a human commonality. I hope to learn, share, and befriend those I come across regardless of physical and political borders.
    During my stay at JFRC for the 2012 Spring semester, my expenses (i.e., tuition, room and board, fees, etc.) will be afforded by money I will have raised working a part-time job during the semester preceding my expected departure, a private student loan, and a monetary amount my mother (my only income-earning parent) can contribute. This scholarship would provide me the opportunity to see more of the world (and greater community), in which I wish to be more of an active participant. This scholarship would prove to me that there are people who share and support the same philosophy as I do in improving society through knowledge and its dissemination through education and social interaction. 

Andiamo! (Let's Go!)

Just bought a travel guide a friend of mine suggested. He said that it’s the right guide for me during my travels through Italy as it keeps the college student on a budget in mind.

Posso Entrare nel Vostro Paese?

This past week I had to turn in a few (actually all) of the documents I needed for my trip.

• A medical history self-evaluation
• Proof of international student health insurance (which I had to buy)
• Housing/Roommate contract
• Photocopy of my passport
• Photocopy of my flight itinerary
• Long term (90+ days) Italian visa application
• etc.

I definitely did a lot of running around this whole week to get all these documents taken care of. Having to buy my round trip ticket(s) and international health insurance, making photocopies of several documents, signing countless forms, trying to interpret vague questions and having to insert my answers to said questions in the small space/box(es) they provide… Tedious work, but I just try to focus on the fact that in just a little over three months I will be surrounded by beautiful people, beautiful architecture, immersed in a beautiful language, and living a portion of my life in a place I never thought I could ever reach.

Everything was pretty standard procedure, but in the back of my mind, there’s that pessimistic part of me that thinks something may still go wrong. For example, having my visa application denied. There’s no reason for it to be, but as humans we always think of the good, but there is that portion of us that tries to stay skeptical/pessimistic in order to expect even the unexpected. So the title of this post was Posso entrare nel vostro paese? meaning “Can I enter your country?”

I’m sure things will run smoothly. I just can’t wait to get my passport back in a few weeks with the Italian visa posted in it. It will be like a tangible promise to a romantic, beautiful future filled with great food, wine, scenery, and a moment that will placidly change my life.

Lo Straniero

Hi! I’m Kenneth and this will be the place where I’ll be putting my thoughts, ideas, and photos of my study abroad experience(s) in Italy. I know that I won’t be leaving for another three months and four days, but preparing for my trip is definitely worth writing about (along with the whole trip itself). This is/will be an exciting journey for me as I have never been to Europe before, and I hope to find an eternal piece of myself during my travels.
The title of this post is Lo Straniero meaning “The Stranger” in Italian. What I hope to accomplish with this blog is to successfully record my whole experience to the fullest that I possibly can, share those experiences with you, and hopefully change our relational status from “strangers” to gli amici or “the friends”.
So, dear stranger, would you be willing to share this journey with me?
KC